“I haven’t slept since he left me! I’m desperate! I need your help!”
Jennifer stood in the doorway, her hands gripped tightly in front of her. She had dressed in a hurry without her usual care—her blouse had missed the waistband of her skirt on one side and her taupe hose were laddered. I could tell she had been crying but was doing her best to cover it up.
I smiled and waved toward the chair opposite me.
“Relax. No worries. I know exactly how you can get him back.”
Jennifer visibly relaxed, and the look of hope in her eyes was unmistakable. I knew why she had come to me. I have …well, let’s call it unique…expertise when it came to situations like this.
As a male, and a relationship coach, I knew exactly what “buttons” she could push to bring her boyfriend around…on his knees…begging her to take him back.
I know what makes boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands crazy—the the male-specific triggers that women can pull to get what they want from the men in their lives.
Jennifer sat down stiffly in the chair and leaned forward, her eyes still fixed on my face.
“I had the feeling something was wrong for the past few weeks.”
Her voice wavered as she suppressed a sob.
“It seemed like he was slipping away from me, paying less and less attention to me and the relationship. I didn’t know what to do…”
She trailed off and looked down at her hands.
I know all too well that this happens all the freakin’ time. The scenario recurs over and over again: Everything is going well with you and your boyfriend until eventually:
- You don’t hear from him as much as you used to.
- He says he’s busy with work and can’t see you as much.
- He starts doing a lot more stuff with his friends.
- You see his eyes follow other women when you’re together.
- He stops asking about what you want and seems to take you for granted.
- He doesn’t put time into planning wonderful things to do with you like he used to.
In Jennifer’s case, this went on for about two months, and it drove the poor girl almost crazy trying to figure out why. The, one day, seemingly out of nowhere, he casually says those four little words that made Jennifer’s stomach tighten and heart go nuts: